Barceloneta

As the sun set he was awoken by the chill of the evening. He was lying on a park bench. The boys that had been having a kickabout were gone. His girlfriend's i-pod had finished Beachboys and had moved on to Beastie Boys.

He realises his phone's clock is in the wrong time zone, he adjusts it. He shivers down the street and meets a Yorkshire Terrier. It's a yapper. It's yapping at him. He makes his way to a shop but doesn't  go in. There's another Yorkshire Terrier inside the door. What's with all these Yorkies? This one has a good look at him, then gives him that same yap treatment. Barks it's head off, it does. Bark the head off him why don't you lil' doggy. Now, the Yorkshire Terrier, like the Jack Russell, is not the most serene of animals(they do like a yelp) but this much barking and the way it's unmistakeably directed is unusual. Aah, of course they're barking, he looks like he's from the Caledonian Liberation Vanguard, it's because he's wrapped his tartan scarf into a tartan balaclava. He's just trying to keep toasty but to a Yorky he's a Scotch terrorist, their forever sworn enemy.

Not completely deterred, our hero sets off again down the street in search of shelter. He stands in front of a pub window and stares inside, summing up the place and deciding how best to ask for a glass of J&B in Castilian. He has unsettled the bar's patrons. There are two of them and they're sitting up off their stools with faces that ask 'What do you want?', "What are you looking at?". They're as bad as the terriers. So he pulls down his improvised ski-mask before walking in, stutters into "Quiero whiskey Por Favor-Uno". Just for a second he feels like some dirty outlaw in a wild west saloon. She asks if he'd like some ice. He doesn't but he replies "Sí, No", then "Perdon, no..ehh por favor". She gives him a shot glass of whiskey and he pays, stands staring stupidly at the shot glass for 2 minutes, then plucks up the courage to ask for a bigger glass. "Perdon, Lo siento, Quiero una copa más grande" and apologises again, this time for his poor Castilian.

Settling down with his whiskey he begins blogging in the third person.

That Difficult Second Blog Post

So now that I've committed to writing this blog as part of my patronage of SUNRISE BEDTIMES and it's worthy bloggeur, now that I've made my mission statement as broad as conceivably conceivable, all that remains is to stop blogging about blogging and start blogging blogging.

Let's see...
The life and times of Andrew Carnegie are my current bit, they (as described by David Nasaw's "massive and monumental biography"(as reviewed by The Washington Post(as I read on the cover)))...where was I? Oh yes, Carnegie's life and times' have engrossed me to the point that he's annexed my life and times. Instead of going ahead and setting up my own business, which about a week ago seemed like a good idea, I've been studying his capitalist journey instead.

Carnegie, for those of you who aren't aware, was a 19th century industrialist-cum-20th century philanthropist. His sale of his Carnegie Steel Company to John Pierpont Morgan in 1901 made himself (without a great deal of hard work) the richest man in the world at the time. He never earned another dollar in his life, instead donating his fortune to the provision of libraries, music halls, museums and art galleries, thousands of church organs, scholarships, fellowships, pensions, peace trusts, public parks, gymnasiums...In fact, the Library that I'm sitting here writing this blog in is a Carnegie library, as are the majority of libraries in Newham. An even bigger impact of Andrew Carnegie's library building was in making libraries worldwide a public service paid for by taxes rather than a private service paid for by subscriptions. Carnegie gave money for library buildings on the condition that public authorities pay for their upkeep. This enormous yet conditional beneficience therefore made it impossible for any civilized government in the world to ignore library provision to the extent that it is now pretty much universal. His other universal innovation was to make Philantropy a business, run with the same attention to detail and efficiency as he had run his steel empire. For example, the computer that I'm using was not donated by Andrew Carnegie, it was provided by the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, an organisation like many others that owe an enormous debt to Andrew Carnegie as the forebear of modern philantropy.

I must confess though, none of this, while fascinating, is the focus of this blog. What I really want to draw attention to is the rather more abstract matter of TIME. No, not the magazine. You see, all the time I've spent in the last 2 months reading this 801-page biography has been, I think, worthwhile. This is not enough for me though, as while I was engrossed in this book I was at the same time excluding other worthwhile pursuits. It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed. Time is, to paraphrase Andrew Melhuish, a linear bastard. How am I supposed to make something of myself and be a modern day Andrew Carnegie or other great man if time keeps nicking all my achievements off me? I shouldn't be reading about great people, I should be becoming a great person. But isn't this the point of reading these biographies? That you learn from their successes and mistakes and come away bettered? In that case, I need to come up with a way of reading faster. I'll read Tony Buzan's Speed Reading Book next, that's what I'll do. Isn't this the same as the procrastinator who reads How to Overcome Procrastination ? I've got to get out and do something! But first I've to finish this blog. And learn spanish. And meet my HR manager at work to discuss the job prospects of a career in hospitality. And apply for jobs in more rewarding sectors. And conduct a feasibility study of my proposed enterprise(very hush hush). And cook dinner to a MasterChef standard. And do the laundry and clean my room and....

Large double room 5 min walk from Canning town station

Straight out of Newham, it's only fitting that this blog be diverse, though of course I'm not making any promises.

The title gives an idea, in ascending order, what subjects will be touched upon, with the majority of the potential blog taken up by nothing, slightly less of anything and next to none of the everything that I outlandishly laid claim to. This is (according to Dragons Den and The Apprentice at least) the absolute opposite of branding, that futile attempt to be all things to all people, but if there's anything that Brand Karl strives to be and isn't, it is this: Everything/Anything/Nothing, suffice it to say it is something.